Friday 21 January 2011

I'm alive.

Don't worry, I'm fine. Well actually...fine might not be the right word right now but, it'll be fine. Soon.

I had some problems getting further up the country, and now I'm nearing Boston where I'm going to stay in my uncle's house for a night.

But only one night, I can't afford to stay any longer and I tried sleeping in libraries. They found me and kicked me out. Then I tried department stores but I got too scared and had spent the night wondering if I was safe in there...I was on the third floor and I had managed to find the camping department.

God, I was so fucking scared, you have no idea, I kept seeing shapes outside the tent and I didn't know...and still don't, if they were Him or something else.

That was a few days ago in Ipswich. And after that it was all clear for a while...I mean, I got a nosebleed on the train and I had to go sit with a bunch of strangers because,

Well He had found me again.

It's just the way he stares, it just chills me to the pit of my stomach. Not to mention I haven't had a proper sleep for what seems like ages.

The horrible thing about when He found me on the train was...I nearly went.

It's

It's getting worse. The whole...'going with Him' thing, I can feel myself slipping when I see Him. Falling into some sort of terrible emotion that's a mixture between terror and want.

Not....not that kind of want, just want for Him to

You know.

Take me away.

No. I can't think about it. That won't make it go away or make it any better, I just need to keep on moving and it'll all be fine.

But it's coming closer.

God, it's closer.

In Norwich I woke up in a small wooded area and had to walk ten miles back to the city, my backpack was fine...everything was fine but, the numbers are back. With charcoal this time, no scratches thank god.

I cried so hard when I woke up, It's the second time I've woken up outside and it's just plain awful. But this time...I had moved, I feel asleep in a bus stop. I remember that. I remember it.

The numbers were pretty much everywhere and I may have missed a few but so far I have,

9, 8, 69, 14, 21, another 8, 5, 19, 96, another 69, 55, another 14 and another 8 again.

I'm still not sure what the last set of numbers meant but...

I'll probably never find out what they mean

The trek back through the woods was a good time for some thinking, and I managed to work out that,

those numbers are to do with my birthday.

And my age of course.

Has He....always been following me?

Or...god, maybe Lee told Him or...

I really need to go, my laptop is running out and I need to wait till I get to Boston to do a new post.

I'm sorry.

I'll try not to die.

No promises though.

2 comments:

  1. Stay strong Sintel.

    Going with Him is almost certain to end badly.

    ReplyDelete
  2. @Wolfloner

    Thank you.

    God...it's so hard to keep going.

    Really, thank you.

    ReplyDelete