I've had a pretty normal couple of days and I guess I'm thankful for that. But I haven't ben anywhere with any internet connection up until now, I'm in a Starbucks in Canterbury. I haven't really got very far yet but I'm going to be in London (which is where I'm going to stay for a hile hopefully...) soon and I'm kind of wondering how long I will need to be staying there...But I think the best bet is to keep it off of my mind for now because..

I'm sure He's in my head. Like, a sort of subconscious thing and the more I think of Him the more likely he is to turn up and be all, 'Hey, here to steal your organs now!'

That's not funny is it?

...Sorry I guess, just sometimes feels easier to cover everything up with jokes rather than admit that you know...

But it's okay, because I haven't seen Him for a couple days and that's a good sign, usually I see Him...every day, somewhere...But maybe he just has other people to fuck up.

I should probably stop, I've gotten into a hAbit of laughing whenever think about Him, as a sort of mental defense. But it's not normal laughter, it's a bit...mental really. I sound like I have proper issues, and even though I...do...I don't want the general public to know. I fear that, if someone asks me how I am, I'm just going to start gushing and then I won't be able to stop and the next thing I know I'll be back in Dover...or worse. Orphington. With Lee.

I wish I could help her, but it would be a lost cause, He's already got her under His thumb (if he even has thumbs...ha...) and personally, I don't want to go the same way. It would be easier to...sometimes I have thoughts about just...going with Him. To wherever He takes you when He

Owns you or whatever.

But I'd just be betraying Lee. She never even understood fully what was going on and now she's paying for it. I know the more you know about Him, the more likely you're to be found but...you have to know, You HAVE to. It's like he latches onto you and then you go off in a flurry of thoughts and you crave it. You need to know what He is and you won't stop until you know everything and...some people don't think He's real but they're the ones who were smart enough to stop.

Or they just don't have the right imagination.

He's so confouning, mind numbingly interesting and He pulls all the strings that make you want Him.

I feel like a jilted lover sometimes when I think too hard and long about it, when He's not there I'm happy but there's a niggling at the back of my mind like...I kind of want Him to be there watching me.

I used to think He was a personal demon...But He's not and I'm jealous.

And...

I think I should go find somewere to stay soon...have a lie down.

I've been thinking about Him too much.

It's not right.

He's making me think this way...

Fuck.

I need to leave, my music is getting all messed up...

S̟̺̙̰̎̉̂ͣ́͟h̤̻̜͖̭̼̩̠ͬ̊ͤͬͭͫ̚͜͠i̶̦̻̖̗̽̿͊̆t̶͚̳͗̈́ͧ̊ͪͩ͡,̞ͨͨ̅ ̢̜͓̬ͩ̓̆̽̌͝ḧ͍̦̓ͩ̎͑e͚̻͐̽̊͗ͣ̎̃͋͠'ͥ̊̃̇͠͏̪̙̥͠s̨̓̍̌͗ͭ̔̆̚͡͏͓͇̲̜ ͎̹ͪ̇̔ͯő̙̥̫̝̦̟̞̦̔̓͡u̯̥͍ͣ̅̑t̘̙̫̰̟͉ͭ̍̒̒́̇s̢̲̮̉͗̈́͋̾̚ͅi̸̛̘̮͖̙̮̘ͩ̒ͤ̔ͣ́d̷̤̺̬̲̟͉̼̱́̆̆e̶̪͇͖͚͋̂͋͘.̵͖̥͈̣̠̫͇͓̦̉ͤ ̪̮͍̪͍̼͑ͩͥ͐͜
̸̥̠̱̞̤̻͌̏͛̇̊̑̑͛͠Iͣ͞͝҉̱͔̗̣ ̧̛̤̞͓̩̗̊̎̔̃̚ͅņ͍̗̪̺̪͔̮͕ͯ͗͜͟e̴̻̰̳̮̱͌̋͐ͯ́ͮͅe̲̲̫̣̦ͣͫͅd̨̜̙̭̺̞̋́͑̄̐͠ ͉̩̩̟̞͈̝͚͒ͫͬͮͣ͂̽̚ṱ̗̮́̏ͣ̏̀ǫ̱͎̳̞̃̀͆̍̀ͅ ̛͓̣͔̈́ͣͣ͟g̛̥̬͚͌ͧͩ̓̔̀oͯ͏̯̜͙̦͞.̳͚̜ͭ̑̌̽